A Very Roleplex Christmas

        A Very Roleplex Christmas    


Marshall Copeland slowly opened the door of his log cabin in the woods to the welcoming warmth of a steady fire and the delightful scent of baking cookies. It was freezing cold outside, and the ground was covered in five inches of snow. Marshall had been walking alone through it, his tattered black trench coat flapping in the wind and a trail of blood following him to the cabin. In his right hand hung a shotgun and in his left a silver cane. His brown tweed vest was caked with vampire blood; it had been quite the fight. Many good men had died tonight, and they had only slain five vampires. It was one of those nights when Marshall wanted nothing better than to hang himself from the rafters of his cabin and end it all.

Yet, the moment he entered the cabin, all of Marshall's anxieties melted away. He closed the door behind him and inhaled an enormous wiff of the cookies. He remembered this from last year; yes, it must be Christmastime. Marshall quickly changed into a new set of clothes, donned his hat and jacket, and dropped all of his weapons on the bed; tonight he wouldn't need them. Marshall sat down at his wooden desk near the roaring brick fireplace to find the source of the cookies: a large cream-colored candle with the fancy gold label "Courtesy of the ICUP" on it was emanating the delicious aroma. Attached to the candle was a letter, addressed uniquely for Marshall in a familiar golden ink;

Dear Old Friend,

It's that time of year again. Once more we, the Interbranial Committee of Universe Protection have invited you to our annual Christmas party as the guest of honor. For your magnificent and long-lived achievements in protecting the people of The Blighted Earth from evil, you have been voted by the Committee to be this year's ICUP Hero of the Year. Your award shall be given to you at the conclusion of the Christmas party. You truly have changed the lives of millions of people with your selfless service. Congratulations and thank you for all that you have done for mankind. As you already know, any moment now the magic in the candle should lull you to sleep and you will be transported to the party. The ICUP Guest Defense Brigade shall protect you and your cabin from harm.

Sincerely,

Mr.C

ps- Remember not to bring any weapons.  

Marshall smiled warmly for the first time in quite a while. He laughed, leaned back in his chair, and kicked his feet up on the desk, waiting for the magic to kick in. Slowly the magic in the candle lulled his heavy eyes to rest, and he was transported away. Fifteen angels appeared in a circle around him, and quickly spread out to cover the inside and outside of the building. Some possessed swords, while others had bows. These warriors would protect heroes in danger from attack.

A few moments later, Marshall, like every other guest would, woke up in a warm bed near a crackling fireplace. Once more the smell of baking cookies flooded the room. Marshall slowly sat up to find a candle sitting on the nightstand, accompanied by a mug of hot chocolate and a plate of chocolate chip cookies. He slowly Sat upright in his bed and grabbed a cookie. It had been so long since he'd eaten a freshly-baked cookie. Marshall ate another cookie or two, and then grabbed the mug of hot chocolate and headed towards the door. He opened his room's wooden door to find a magically long hallway lined with doors. Each door held a different hero or villain. Marshall turned and began to walk down the hallway towards the spiral staircase. He noticed that his silver cane had been replaced by a large candy cane.

---

Taylor De L'eau woke up to the sweet smell of pumpkin pie, one of her favorite smells. She was in bed next to her boyfriend Johnny, who had his arms around her. She slowly sat up, still groggy, and noticed that the delicious smell was coming from across the room on Johnny's desk. She sat up slowly, trying not to wake him, and slipped her feet into a pair of slippers. She walked across the room and found that the smell was coming from a large orange candle, marked "Courtesy of the ICUP". Next to the candle was a note written in red ink:

Dear Mr. & Mrs.Valos (Taylor visibly winced when she read this. She and Johnny were most definitely not married)

On behalf of the Interbranial Committee of Universal Defense, you have been invited to this year's ICUP Christmas Party. This party will celebrate your achievements in protecting your universe from harm at the hands of villains who wish to undermine it. The party is considered to be a universal truce; there will be no combat, and any sort of weaponry is strictly forbidden. The candle burning right now has magical properties that will soon transport you to the party. The ICUP Guest Defense Brigade shall protect you and your home from harm for the duration of the party.

Sincerely,

Mr.C

Taylor glared oddly at this message, and was about to turn and say something to Johnny when she felt herself struck by a wave of tiredness. She fell to her knees and slowly lowered herself to the ground, where she fell asleep.

A few moments later, Taylor woke up in bed next to Johnny once more. They were in a warm room that smelled of freshly-baked gingerbread. Across the room from the bed was a warm fireplace, and next to it was a nightstand on which sat a plate of gingerbread cookies and two mugs of hot chocolate. Taylor sat up and nudged Johnny on the shoulder.

"Réveiller, ma cherie." she whispered to him "You might want to see this." Despite the oddness of the situation, Taylor felt safe and relaxed in this room, which was odd considering that she had just been teleported to a room in a different universe so far from her own.


The Doctor (11th), however, was well at home in this cabin. He had gotten his letter a little bit earlier than everyone else, and so had travelled to the party in the TARDIS, which was parked outside in the snow. He was now sitting in a wooden chair in the living room of the cabin around a fire with a few other curious people; to the left of him was Castiel, an angel, and to the right of him was Harry Potter, who had lit the fire with his wand. The front doors to the house opened directly to the living room, which was large, with two sofas, three recliners, and a multitude of wooden rocking chairs. There was a stone fireplace in the room, and above the mantel there hung a gigantic flat-screen TV which was currently showing The Charlie Brown Christmas. In the corner of the room was a Christmas tree decorated with gold garland and red, silver, and white baubles. The three of them were telling stories. It was The Doctor's turn, and he began to tell the story of the time he sealed the cracks in the universe and escaped the Pandorica. As usual he was wearing his red fez and, as usual, Clara had wandered off. She was on the other end of the enormous house sitting next to a rather handsome man who went by the name of Dean Winchester.

In the house's enormous dining room was a long table lined with plates. The table was waited by snowman butlers wearing black suits and top hats. Though at the time, the snowmen simply sat there against the wall, waiting for dinnertime. The table was barren of food and vacant of guests. At one end of the room was a fireplace, and at the other end a bar stocked with any kind of drink imaginable. Next to the bar was a door that lead to the kitchen, where a team of house elves and robots were making Christmas dinner. There were a variety of other rooms on the first floor, all of which had a fireplace and a TV which was playing christmas specials. Speakers in every room played christmas music. In every room except the guest rooms and the diningroom was a christmas tree decorated in a variety of pleasing ways. Outside of the house was a beautiful evergreen forest decorated with tinsel, garland, and ornaments of all shapes and sizes. Through the woods ran a variety of magical forest animals, some with the ability to talk and others with beautiful aesthetic characteristics like silver-horned deer or gold-pelted moose. All of the animals were nonaggressive. Sitting on a branch of one of the trees was Colneth, a young elf girl with fiery red hair tied into a ponytail. She wore a red party dress lined with white fluff and a pair of red-and-white heels. She was leaning against the tree comfortably, her hands behind her head and her eyes fixed upon the crystal clear blue sky.