Misleading Answers

Cuz the Space cickens in Juggernaut armor aimed their plasma cannons at you. and shot.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

One gram of gold, because wood is the gold of the plant world.

Why can a blessing also be a curse?

Cuz if you get too much of it it can eat you and stip you back out.

Now If paul has three apple and fred has six, how many will Jane have when the world finally ends?

3,205,204.6

And that is the number of apples total she will have eaten from the day she was born to the day she died at the age of 108.


Why do people like to dance?

Lemons,


Because when life gives you lemonade, I make lemons.

Life was all like:

"Whaaaaaaaaat?"




Why do aliens not wear hats?

Because tinfoil hats went out of style one hundred years ago when they realized that they were the ones that were more likely to be reading human's minds, and not the other way around.

Why do people like snow angels?

It usually happens by accident; people with too thick of a sweater fall over and try to get up, but their immobile.

Why is glass so fragile?

Someone broke it's heart, so now it's vulnerable.

Why do people keep pet snapping turtles.

Because fingers are to mainstream.


Why do people have zoos?

Because if we didn't see the animals in real life, we would keep getting the Lions and Tigers mixed up.

Why do people hate flies?

Because they never go and bring their grandchildren to see grandma fly at the Natural History museum.

what is the meaning of life?

Life has no meaning. Case closed.

Who named Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Larry the Cable Guy,


are there aliens?

I don't know! Go ask the military first! If they don't know either, then go ask that weird guy over there that is wearing the tinfoil hat!

Why do birds sing sometimes in the middle of the night?

Cuz they want to annoy the crap out of me.

If the grass is green, the sky is blue and the Sun is yellow, how come everything else isn't brown?

Some tree trunks are brown. They hog it all to themselves.

How come Greenland is bigger than South America in some maps?

Because Vikings once settled there, and therefore it is sometimes considered better.

How come we can't make popcorn out of corn on the cob?

Cuz it would be too fun to eat and the anti-fun committee says no to that. It was in the obamacare bill.

What is the resulting shap if you take the square root of pie?

a rhombus

what is the meaning of pie?

We throw pie in someone's face as a part of a comedy routine

Why are viruses considered nonliving things?

Cuz a guy in a white coat siad so.

If math is so rational what about Irrational numbers?

Potato.

Yes, potato.

Why did I just answer a math question with a potato?

Because it was the best possible awnser ever concived

Why is the sky blue?

redundancy.


Who watches the Watchmen?

the watchmen of the watchmen

if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it dose it make a sound?