Things Done in the Dark OOC: A Mind Games RP: Gone Dark

And so all was well once again.

People just look at me weird and walk away

Well, I've only really told my parents, they're used to weird stuff.

The only person that knows about my roleplaying is one of my friends. If he joins, he'll be called Some Guy.

working on an IC post. Things are about to get violent.

Okay, this is kinda like a boss fight I guess. Meet the Mimic Drone; possibly the most powerful robot ever constructed. The Mimic Drone is held together by a series of extremely powerful electromagnetic currents, and its pieces are made of a material unknown to 99% of sentient species in our galaxy. Basically, this thing really packs a punch. Nobody knows which race created it, but the drones basically pop up every once in a while in random places and wreak havoc. I don't want any autohitting in this fight, as this machine is extremely hard to damage.

Liam. Seriously. Two sentences isn't a paragraph.

I was just about to say that. Liam, this time because we were all being bitchy at you, I'll cut you some slack, but please try to make longer posts.

You may as well tell a cat to use the litter box, because neither the cat nor Liam isn't really going to understand what you're saying. Perhaps you should try to teach him how to make bigger and better posts.

Just writing the thought process of the character to make your posts longer is cheating, really. Even moreso, it's boring. It's inefficient to just have a post full of dialog, you must add material to it and you can do that by describing the environment around you. You can enhance the scenery and the actions of those around you with just a few artful words.

"Steven walked by the park" could easily be changed to: "Steven looked over at the mirthful sound of playing children and singing blue songbirds as he walked past the park. Its border was fenced in with a thick and finely-trimmed hedged with a few small trees aligned alongside it. The park itself was a bright and rich green with clean sidewalks streaming on either side. In the center stood an old oak tree, sheltering the picnicking families that sat beneath it."

That little bit that I added can change one small line into a small paragraph. What I added is just one of the simplest things you can do to improve a sentence (or part of a sentence) into something you can truly visualize. You can take it further and describe the air - hot or cold? Dry or humid? Was the sky clear and blue, or was it dark and cloudy? If it's dark and cloudy, you can describe the families looking up and collecting their things before it began to rain. Describe the far off sounds of rumbling thunder foreboding the story, and the gloomy, lugubrious clouds that accompany it. Think of a movie scene and describe the mood, or the kind of emotions and connotations attached to those scenes.

Heres's the way I see it; the best writer can write a thousand words about nothing, basically; maybe a single dead leaf falling through the air; maybe the feel and the experience of just standing there, breathing that air and being alive.

Look lieo, this rp isn't some kinda school or something just because you think it's less official or some clever bullshit like that. We have an abundance of rp guides in the strategy section ready to be read, and I'm sure at least one talks about making posts longer. It's not my duty to instruct him; it's his own, just like every role player did. Now here's how this is going to work; I don't want you posting in my OOC again unless you are in this rp. I've had enough of people who can't mind their own damn businesses and stay out of my rp because they're so desperate to stick their abnormally large noses into my roleplays. Get out, and don't come back. You'd say the same thing if you owned the rp and I were the one mouthing off like a jackass.

Thank you Lieo for that information that helped a lot more than criticism.

Spam removed by Maxx.

Maxx Toron wrote:

Heres's the way I see it; the best writer can write a thousand words about nothing, basically; maybe a single dead leaf falling through the air; maybe the feel and the experience of just standing there, breathing that air and being alive.

Look lieo, this rp isn't some kinda school or something just because you think it's less official or some clever bullshit like that. We have an abundance of rp guides in the strategy section ready to be read, and I'm sure at least one talks about making posts longer. It's not my duty to instruct him; it's his own, just like every role player did. Now here's how this is going to work; I don't want you posting in my OOC again unless you are in this rp. I've had enough of people who can't mind their own damn businesses and stay out of my rp because they're so desperate to stick their abnormally large noses into my roleplays. Get out, and don't come back. You'd say the same thing if you owned the rp and I were the one mouthing off like a jackass.

Yeah, god forbid people help each other. That is a ridiculous notion that has no place in a high end roleplay such as this.
 
While the guides are there to help for the people who need it, most of them are ripped – this doesn’t make the guides any less valid of course, I still encourage the use of them. However, they’re also large and daunting, and more like instruction videos. They do not tell you what you’re presently doing wrong, and they just tell you what you’re supposed to be doing. You can’t interact with the guides. That is what teachers are for; they can tell you what’s wrong, they can tell you how to improve that mistake, and can provide you advice for that particular situation. Helping each other is how mankind improved as a race in the first place, because we’re savages that take care for our own. If a dude gets eaten by a pack of wolves, the entire tribe goes out and slaughters them out of revenge and make new fuzzy underwear garments.
 
Now the reason why your “what if it were your roleplay” analogy doesn’t work is because I don’t care if you pop in and give advice. In fact, I would even encourage it. The only time I would care is if your advice was either wrong or just plain bad. Another reason why your analogy wouldn’t work is because I know how to handle my roleplays appropriately, and when I start mouthing off, I sound smart while doing so.
 
So here is how it’s going to work; I will help people whenever and however I want, and nothing nor nobody is going to stop me. The reason I’m doing this at all is because I want to help and watch people and improve, to see them surpass their own expectations of themselves and become better writers. I never had a teacher, so god help me, I am going to do the best I can to make sure nobody* makes the same mistakes I did when learning.

 
*nobody deserving, at least.

God-mod wrote:

I have a solution to this problem. Lieo, how about you and Liam PM each other so you can help him without making Maxx mad.

Infact, you should actually be something like the resident writing critic/Advisory personal so that you could give advice to people as to how to write better quality posts so Maxx doesn't have to get after them about bad writing.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you'll feed him for a life time.

That's you could do, teach since you have more experience and time to dedicate to that than most people.

That’s a bit of a bold statement saying I have a crap ton of spare time to be doing this, but I appreciate the gesture.

Technically I should be doing something else at the moment. Speaking of which, I'll be damned, something to do. *absconds*